I don’t remember dreading bedtime as a child, although if you asked my mother she would tell you I was a typical child trying to delay bedtime. But in any case, once I was in bed, I looked forward to the ritual. It was another experience, another chance to escape into a special world.
I would get settled in bed, adjust the pillows and covers, close my eyes and enter this world with an opening theme that I imagined. I remember some kind of generic music and a sparkling, spinning version of my name, “Brian.” Then I slipped into a running serial about an adult version of myself who was married. We lived in a sort of truck or RV situation and drove all over the place, meeting interesting people and visiting strange places.Many of these adventures were based on things I had seen on television or read about in books. Falling asleep sometimes took a while, but it was restful and exciting.
It is funny that I remember this, but this went on for quite a while. I also remember imagining myself as some kind of television host, as a news anchor, and as a big movie star. I remember the bed, the brown corded bedspread, I remember getting up sometimes at night and looking out the window. These nighttime bed rituals made me appreciate bedtime and sleeping.
Without realizing I was doing it, I used to use a breathing technique for falling asleep. I would start breathing deeply until I fell asleep. One morning I woke up at a friend’s house after having spent the night, and he said he was worried about me because I was breathing so deeply. Sorry to have scared you, John.
Once I got into my teenage years, I would go to bed at a fairly decent time and then get back up after everyone in the house had gone to bed. I loved the quiet, the stillness, the fact that I felt I could relax. I would eat a sandwich or other snack, and this started years of late night television viewing with the volume turned way down. Happy that you could catch older shows on late at night, and this fed my penchant for nostalgia.
Even now, something seems comforting about relaxing from the day, snuggling into bed and slowly drifting off to sleep and then the magic of awakening refreshed, early, to breathe in the stillness and the quiet. I really want to make that a regular experience instead of a random treat. I like being a morning person, but I also like the comforting quiet of the nighttime.