Wherever you are, can you see the things that can bring you closer to the people and forces around you? Always look for the unity.
I know from my own experience that whenever I separate myself from people too much, as much as I may feel comfortable doing so at first, I always end up depressed. And for me, when I get overly stressed and challenged by a situation, I tend to withdraw. This inevitably leads to feelings of failure.
Unity Defined
Unity is the state of being one in number. Something is unified when it is complete in itself. The various components of the “something” combine together in a harmonious way. All parts are one and have an agreement that each part’s contribution works towards the same effect. Unity can be a feeling, opinion, purpose, appearance, action, cause or almost anything else. The “one” has been made out of “many.” Remember that unity does not imply good or bad, positive or negative, useful or harmful. It just is.
The Concept of One
In numerology, the number one (1) represents creative energy. Everything is made of energy and we usually think of it in individual forms. In reality it is all part of a greater whole. The challenge is to keep that greater whole in our thoughts while working on the little piece in front of us. It is human nature to define things, separate things, to try to lessen uncertainties. Part of the paradox of unity is that the world is full of uncertainties and differences yet together they make up the whole picture. Each part is necessary and makes the function of the other parts possible.
Unity Among People: beyond the superficial
When we talk about unity among people, typically we think it means everyone has to agree or thing in a certain alike way. We all support the same sports team, or share basic political or religious views, or pride in our community. Even in those examples, we have varying levels of enthusiasm. We were all drawn to that idea or organization for different reasons. We all want something different from it, and we all have a different experience of participation.
In spiritual terms, true unity is seeing what we have in common while respecting our different journeys. When in true union you want to explore the deeper levels of the other person/people. You can increase that togetherness by asking: how well do you know your neighbors, coworkers, family members, and anyone else in the groups you belong to?
I know from my own experience that whenever I separate myself from other people too much, as much as I may feel comfortable doing so at first, I always end up depressed. And for me, when I get overly stressed and challenged by a situation, I tend to withdraw. This inevitably leads to feelings of failure. I value my time along to think and process things, and I call myself a strong introvert because of that. But my energy really flows only when I am connected to other people. I think it is because I sense common traits and ideas with others, and that makes me feel more fully human.
Finding Common Cause
The first and most important step is to recognize that you are like another person. To do this, we must put aside thinking about if we are better or worse, higher or lower, more or less intelligent, stronger or weaker, richer or poorer. Dichotomous thinking is the biggest barrier to connecting with others. It creates a division, a separation, that cannot be bridged while we are comparing ourselves to another.
Connection Development Exercise
A good unity developing exercise when you see someone who looks or seems different from you is to stop and mentally make a list of the things you have in common with that person. Differences of style, dress, appearance, economic status, religion, education, privilege, gender should be put aside. Focus only on what you have in common. It could be a tiny thing at first, but that speck could be all you need. I guarantee that if you start there you will find more ways you are alike.
Building Deeper Group Dynamics
In groups, this same shedding of differences must occur to engage everyone. The goal of the group is almost always to find common ground, in some way to get on the same page. Start at the place where everyone already agrees, however insignificant. Build from there. This progression from commonality to difference increases the chance that each participant can see how he/she fits into the whole. It is a more organic way to get people on board, and more honest because you are allowing each person to discover the commonality instead of trying to force it on the group.
The Dark Side of Coming Together
All groups that come together in agreement are not for the betterment of humanity or the planet. The freedom of diversity or absence of variance is soul crushing. Dictatorships, authoritarian leadership styles and those who only wish to further a selfish interest can often bring people together. They can appeal to fear, greed, insecurity and built up frustration. Drawing on people’s base emotions can create unity, a false sense of human empowerment. It is horrifying to think of how many people have been harmed or killed throughout history in this way. Associations among people have the power to be a creative force or a destructive force.
When you find yourself reacting to something out of fear or frustration, do what you can to center yourself and get back to what you really believe. And when you encounter a leader or influencer who is appealing to these aspects of you or others, think carefully about how you will respond. Do you walk away (or run)? Will you try to stop others from being harmed? Will you allow yourself to be drawn in?
Unity in Nature and Art
The same patterns, shapes and behaviors repeat over and over throughout nature. In wildly different contexts you find the same basic forms.
When I forget this, I reach for Rachel Carson’s book The Sense of Wonder (1956). I have a beautiful photographed edition given to me as gift in the 1990s that always inspires me. She wants to instill a lifelong love of curiosity and nature in children, and then make sure we all retain that as we get older. Reading the book makes me remember how amazingly miraculous the world is.
If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things that are artificial, the alienation form the sources of our strength.
Rachel Carson, The Sense of Wonder (1956)
Look For the Common Forms That Show Up Everywhere
- basic forms/shapes in nature
- symmetry
- spirals
- branching patterns
- curves
- waves/ripples
- spheres/bubbles
- repeating grids
- patterns
- colors
- textures
- layers
- sounds
- smells
Finding Completion in Yourself
You won’t always have control over other people’s reactions. You can’t always shape group dynamics. The forces of nature are stronger than any one person. You do have complete control over yourself, and how you react to things.
When you discover a thought, feeling or inclination that seems at odds with the rest of yourself, that should raise an alarm. It could be an unresolved conflict. Maybe you are holding onto an experience, idea or pain that should be released.
Or just maybe, the thing that seems out of place is a real deeper part of you demanding attention. We put aside parts of ourselves for all kinds of reasons: to fit in, to makes others happy, to satisfy material or sensual wants. I believe the deeper core, the part of yourself that is true and on purpose, refuses to be buried no matter what.
You have to allow yourself to experience (feel) the incongruous thing to find out if it should be really grieved and released or whether it is a permanent part of yourself that must be incorporated into your life. If you ignore it, it won’t go away. It will come back bigger and in a more disruptive form. And it seems to show up at the most inconvenient time for your outer goals and relationships.
Unity is always the desired conclusion
We are not on this planet in isolation. We are connected to everyone and everything that is here, and everything that has been and will be here. Unity is about becoming one. Ultimately there is only one flow of energy, and we need to tap into it to move forward. This oneness of connection operates on all levels, from the most superficial to the most esoteric. You are attracted to or presented with many groups of people to interact with throughout your life; making the most of those groups by giving and receiving positive energy helps you and them. This is possible in greater measure the more you are in balance and unity within the different parts of yourself.
Note: This post was originally published on Brian Beholds on November 3, 2016. It was expanded, revised and republished on January 10, 2020.