Mailer, Norris C. (2010). A Ticket to the Circus. New York: Random House. ISBN: 978-1-4000-6794-7
I love reading life stories of any kind, especially those by or about writers. So when I heard Norris Church Mailer had written a memoir, I immediately raced out and got, read it, and savored it.
Then I mentioned it to a couple of people. “Norman Mailer was a good writer, but how could she have stayed with such a misogynistic, gruff ogre for over thirty years?” was the general response I got. Slightly taken aback by the deep emotional response these intelligent people had toward Norman Mailer, who consequently none of them knew personally, I gave it some thought. Norris Church Mailer refers to this image of her husband, and paints a portrait of a man with good and bad points, who was very passionate and loving and driven in his professioanl pursuits as well as his romantic conquests.
From reading this memoir and from reading some of Mailer’s novels and interviews he gave during his career, I see an intelligent man who was perhaps a bit immature, certainly irresponsible in handling relationships, but this picture I have of him is not much different form many other creative types of people who are driven, confident and disciplined in terms of their work habits. And who whose work I admire.
But I have already spent too much space talking about Norman Mailer, because he really isn’t the most fascinating part of this book. It is Norris Church herself. She is a gifted storyteller, with southern and modest roots I can relate to, and she accomplishes the feat of being true to herself. She doesn’t fall into the trap that some people do of making everything in her life sound wonderful; she doesn’t brag on herself, but then she presents no false modesty either. A difficult feat to pull off.
She presents a valid answer to the eternal question of what draws a young, attractive person into a relationship with an older, more established person: here a man with great talent living a somewhat glamorous New York lifestyle is part of it, but there are many more layers. I think the light she sheds on May-December relationships is one of the most valuable contributions of the book
In addition, she shows the many different sides of herself as a woman, growing and evolving at a time when women’s roles in society were very much in flux. She calls herself a feminist, but keeps saying how she was the one taking care of her large family, holding it all together. These seemingly conflicting roles very much define many women of her generation.
She grows as a writer and artist, by practicing her skills, but also by taking chances in living her life. All of us who seek to get better as various creative enterprises should remember the importance of that.
See also : Norris Church Mailer appearing on Charlie Rose on May 11, 2010: http://www.charlierose.com/view/content/11008